Demeter: Goddess of agriculture

Demeter heard Persephone's cries as she was taken to the underworld and searched for her daughter, over land and sea, for nine days and nine nights. She is the goddess of agriculture, and is also be known as the horse headed goddess. Horses were symbols of fertility in ancient Greece as they were used to plough fields and transport crops.

Image from Pinterest, source unknown

On the tenth day of searching, Hecate (Goddess of the Dark Moon) told Demeter that Persephone’s abduction had been sanctioned by Zeus. While Demeter grieved, she disguised herself as an old woman and wandered unrecognised through mortal lands. After being challenged by a human mother, “her golden hair fell to her shoulders, and her presence filled the house with light and fragrance. Demeter remembered who she was.” 

She demanded a temple be built for her where she sat alone. As the goddess of grain, her grief caused the crops to not grow and remain stagnant in the cold, dark months in Persephone’s absence. Zeus was forced to pay attention and commanded Hades to send Persephone back to her mother. 

When she finally returns, Demeter learns that Persephone has eaten the pomegranate seed. That is, she can't unknow what she has experienced. Her innocent maiden daughter was now Queen of the Dead, and must return back to the underworld. Demeter cannot save her daughter from hardship and suffering. For that, she grieves, in the cold darkness that is winter before her daughter returns to her, in spring. 

Ceres (Demeter) Begging for Jupiter’s Thunderbolt After the Kidnapping of Her Daughter Proserpine (Persephone), by Antoine-François Callet, 1777

The loss of the inner daughter, most commonly occurring later in life for women, is “the loss of the young and carefree part of themselves.” When they become encumbered by responsibilities, the needs and wants of others suffocate their own, when light footed joy is replaced by the monotonous thump thump thump of dragged feet as if they are a horse ploughing the field. 

When a woman realises she has lost her inner daughter, it may shock the people around her as as the chores go undone or she says no (for once.) To be fulfilling the Demeter archetype, you will be in a state of grief. Grief for a loss of a loved one, a dream, a part of yourself.Grief and womanhood are devastatingly intertwined. Women not only suffer the despair of the external world related to the plights of our gender. Individually, we also hang the heavy burden of our not-enoughness on our already tired souls.

Ultimately, after a time of retreat and reprieve, Demeter remembers who she is and the power she holds. She is no longer an invisible worn out woman. She returns in her glory, demands things (how dare she!) and puts her foot down, forcing others to take her seriously. 

Two things are important here. 1) Demeter allows herself the time to grieve. To wander aimlessly through life. To sit alone in her temple for as long as she needs to, which is very often much longer than one hopes. 2) She pulls herself out of it. She feels when it is time to renew and return.

Sex and the City, Season 6 Episode 12

Charlotte from Sex and the City embodies the Demeter archetype when she dresses up to go to Brady’s first birthday party after finding out she would not be able to get pregnant. The time comes to stop hiding, put a fabulous outfit on and hold your head up high.

“Now is the time for guts and guile.” - Elizabeth Taylor

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