Maiden, Mother, Crone

Jul 2

4 min read

Inevitably, every woman approaches their “last fuckable day” where we are pushed off the cliff of young, hot, desired and into the pit of saggy, wrinkled invisibility. We will go to great lengths to prevent aging (even though it’s literally impossible to avoid.) We see growing old as bad: opportunities dry up, responsibilities become too heavy to escape, our bodies change, we are running running running out of time until the day we are wheeled into the nursing home and forgotten about.

It is a myth that we become less valuable as we age. As someone who has watched over one thousand episodes of Real Housewives, I know that anything is possible for a woman “out of her prime.”

Maiden. Mother. Crone. These archetypes represent the stages of a woman's life but also the unconscious aspects of the feminine within us all, regardless of gender.

What is an archetype?

An image or concept inherited from the earliest human ancestors, still present in the collective unconscious. Maybe without even realising it, we have instinctual knowledge and shared symbols of the human experience.

Tangled (2010)

THE MAIDEN

Spring of life // Waxing Cresent Moon // Follicular phase

The Maiden embodies innocence, potential and the spark of individuation. The Maiden is the initiator, the one who calls for adventure and self discovery.

In myths and fairytales, the Maiden is often depicted as a princess or naive young woman. Within ourselves, it is she who drives the impulse to take off your shoes and run at the beach or jump in the car and leave town without packing a bag.

However, she has not yet learned to listen to her intuition. She does not know that she is prey. She wants everything to be beautiful, magical, and if she tries hard enough it will be so.

Inevitably, she will find herself tricked, or lost, or in over her head. She must learn to have her wits about her. The light of her innocence attracts moths who want to capture that light for themselves and contaminate it, maybe by accident, with their darkness.

From our vantage point far in the future, we look back on our innocence and feel very sorry for the trauma the maiden will endure and be very, very relieved it’s not happening anymore.

Lion King (1994)

THE MOTHER

Summer of life // Full moon // Ovulation

The Mother archetype is wiser, more grounded. She preempts the red flags. She points out the dangers ahead. She knows when it is time to bare her teeth, snarl and bark a warning “stay away.”

It seems one of the only socially acceptable forms of anger for women is their “lioness” attitude when protecting their children.

The Mother represents nurturing, protection, unconditional love. She provides a safe space for us to grow and develop. The Mother is often portrayed as a caring figure, an empathetic counsellor or powerful protector. She also teaches us connection and community, finding and taking care of our tribe.

Kinkeeping: the task of family bonding and magic making through carrying family traditions, buying gifts and coordinating care is done through The Mother archetype.

While the physical affects of aging to not concern me so much (although I haven’t experienced much of it yet) I am anxious about the implications of the roles I will be inhabiting as I physically transition out of maidenhood: soon I am to be a wife, and maybe after that, a mother.

We do not have to have given birth to a child to experience the archetype, although we may feel identification in a literal sense if we do, have lost, or plan to have children.

You may have seen the “realising your mum is just a girl living life for the first time” trend on Tiktok. The Mother archetype carries an intensity unlike The Maiden or The Crone, as soooooo soooooooo much is unfairly expected of her. Pamela Anderson said on her newsletter this week that the greatest gift we can give for Mothers Day is forgiveness.

Spirited Away (2001)

THE CRONE

Winter of life // Waning Cresent Moon // Luteal phase & menstruation

The Crone archetype represents death, transformation and wisdom of lived experience. The Crone challenges us to confront our darkness and look where we do not want to. Unlike the Maiden and the Mother, she is not held on the same pedestal in our culture today. We do not want to look or listen to the elderly anymore. We do not see them as valuable in the ways that we should. Because of this the Crone is our Shadow.

In Jungian terms, the Shadow represents the unconscious, repressed aspects of ourselves. They are the elements of yourself you gradually learned to be unacceptable growing up, like aggression or sexuality.

The Crone is often depicted as a wise elder, a witch, a woman from the underworld. The Crone teaches us to accept our mortality, let go of what no longer serves us and embrace the knowledge that comes with age.

Women hold croning ceremonies to celebrate becoming a Wise Woman, around menopause or the second half of life. By welcoming this milestone, a woman crosses the threshold into becoming a female elder. They enter a new chapter of their life, with new goals, aspirations and possibilities.

It is said (I don’t have my copy of Heroine’s Journey with me so I can’t remember exactly the cultural source) that the blood of a woman’s cycle is used to create life, and when she goes through menopause, she keeps the blood to create wisdom.

We must embrace the full spectrum of our being: the Maiden’s adventurous spirit, the Mother’s nurturing, boundaried nature and the Crone’s wisdom, we can dance between these feminine principles throughout our lives.

You may see these women in your dreams. If you do, ask them what you need to know.

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