Rumplestiltskin

Aug 4

5 min read

“This kind of work takes courage in the first place. I have to be able to bear to look at myself and see what's there, which won't always be pretty. And secondly, it's humbling. Because this is not about feeling great. It's about being called to accountability, which is a whole different matter. To be an adult is not just to have a big body, it's to know that I'm accountable for what's spilling into the world through me.” - Dr James Hollis

The bones of the Rumplestiltskin tale are thought to be around 4,000 years old. A possible reference is in Dionysius of Halicarnassus's Roman Antiquities, in the 1st century AD.

The story goes along the lines of:

A miller lies to the King, saying that his daughter can spin straw into gold. The King demands she spins the gold for him. If she does he will marry her, otherwise he will chop off her head. She tries to spin gold but fails and is terrified of the consequences.However, just in time, a mysterious little man appears and offers to do the work in exchange for her first born child. She agrees and ends up marrying the King, becomes Queen and gives birth to a child.The little man returns. The Queen refuses to handover the child, offering him all her wealth instead, but the little man says he will let her child go if she can guess his name. After two failed guesses, the Queen stumbles upon him singing over a campfire in a forest. There he reveals his name: Rumplestilskin. She speaks his name to him the next day. He is incredulous and vanishes into the earth.

Faerie Tale Theatre - Rumpelstiltskin (1982)

Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung believed that fairytales are reflections of our psyche, and by studying them we will learn more about the characters within ourselves.

Rumplestiltskin is chefs kiss for this. Let’s get into it.

The daughter has a dilemma: fufill expectations or suffer the consequences. She is expected to make gold (value) from straw (nothing.) This is the plight of the ego: expecting perfection and chastising oneself for not achieving unreasonable demands.

It’s also our masculine side of ourselves that locks the feminine away expecting results: make the money/lose the weight/produce the art/etc. But when we are overworked/starved/lacking inspiration, we find we are unable to do what we set out to do.

Now, lil Rumplestiltskin is our shadow. He’s the trickster. He’s strange, mysterious, chaotic, magical.

What is a shadow?

Imagine a garden overgrown with thorns and weeds: this is our shadow. The thorns are our repressed fears and anxieties, the aspects of ourselves we would prefer to keep hidden from others. The weeds are the wild instincts and desires; sexual, aggressive, or otherwise socially unacceptable.

These thorns and weeds grow as we do. We learn what we should hide away from the world so that it never sees the light (of consciousness.) If you have ever experienced an abrupt and unexplained change in your behaviour, for example getting aggressive or self sabotaging, you may be in the grips of your shadow.

Accessing your shadow is like swimming into an underwater cave that has an even deeper cave within. You are hypnotised by its power and, for a brief period of time, you:

Hurt yourself or others
Act inappropriately or
Do things you think are morally wrong

Everybody has a shadow side. You are not free from your shadow self, no matter how “good” of a person you try to be.

However, the shadow isn’t always “bad.” Further inside that cave or underneath the tangled vines is fertile earth: rich with potential for transformation. That fertile soil is a mixture of hidden talents, unacknowledged strengths and the seeds of our deepest passions. It is the quiet words that enter your mind whispering “what if… what if…”

It’s gold.

Our golden shadow contains the joy of something we were shamed for doing. Maybe you’ve lost contact with your desire, or stopped dancing, or singing, or sewing. There are things that you would really like to do that you don’t for whatever reason. You might not even know what those things are anymore.

For many of us, the simple act of play is in our golden shadows. For example, I have begun volunteering with young girls to access my inner child. For a couple hours a week, I do things like colour flying unicorns or make pasta necklaces. Just silly stuff. There’s no achieving, no goals, no KPIs.

Play activates the golden shadow.

Faerie Tale Theatre - Rumpelstiltskin (1982)

The daughter (ego) bargains with Rumpeltiltskin. The shadow produces the gold. The shadow contains unconcious creative potential that the concious mind lacks. Many famous works first appeared as visions in dreams: Frankenstein, Twilight, Misery.

Rumplestiltskin: Retold By Edith H. Tarcov. Pictures By Edward Gorey (1973)

The daughter promises to exchange a part of herself (her unborn child) in order to stay

conscious (alive) and grow (become Queen.)

In the process of individuation, sacrifices will be made in order to live authentically.

What’s in a name?

Then when the Queen discovers Rumplestilskins name, she gains control over the unconscious. She brings awareness to the contents of her shadow.

There is a psychological effect called the Rumpelstiltskin Principle, where using someones name gives you power over them. There is a dazzling effect when someone remembers your name after only meeting them briefly. It’s a tactic used by lawyers to defuse tension, sales people to sell, politicians to get votes.

The name Rumpelstilzchen in German means literally "little rattle stilt", a stilt being a post or pole that provides support for a structure……The meaning is similar to rumpelgeist ("rattle-ghost") or poltergeist ("rumble-ghost"), a mischievous spirit that clatters and moves household objects.— Wikipedia

A rattling ghost commits inconvenience: opening doors that you don't want opened, making noises inside the shadows, bringing alertness to things you don’t want to know.

Illustration by Louis Rhead (1857-1926)

If you can learn to withstand the torture of examining your own humanness: accepting yourself becomes possible.

*Please note I’m not a healthcare professional. This is not intended to be medical advice. Social media is not a replacement for real therapy.

Want to begin accessing your golden shadow? I recommend the Artists Way by Julia Cameron. You do not have to be an artist or consider yourself creative for it to be useful.

Liked this? Listen to Dr James Hollis: How to find your true purpose and create your best life on the Huberman Lab Podcast